Coffee and Tea

I like the nice aroma of the coffee. It makes me feel refreshing. My office used to have a coffee maker, where we can make cappucino, coffee latte and espresso. I love cappuccino as it is less strong. I like espresso too but I avoid taking it most of the time as it is very strong. When someone makes a cup of coffee from the coffee maker, the whole office will be filled with the nice smell of coffee aroma. During that time, almost everyday I have to resist myself from drinking coffee everyday. It is hard to resist the nice coffee aroma. However since about 1 year ago the coffee maker has spoilt and I heard the cost of repairing it is not cheap. So company did not proceed to fix it and since then no more cappuccino or coffee latte for me, back to the 3-in-1 coffee mix. I usually take only 2 cups per week, when I feel like it. I don't have the habit and I'm also not addict to the coffee. I'm a Milo person actually. I must have a cup of Milo every morning in the office. And I can only take coffee with stomach full, so I will only drink it after lunch.

Lately I noticed that, I have difficulty falling asleep after taking a cup of coffee in the afternoon. I can even stay up to 3-5am in the morning. Argh! Is it a sign of aging? Sigh. It happened few times already. So my sleeping time for the past 2 weeks was being messed up. I think I should stop taking coffee for the time being.

Since no coffee, I switch to drink tea! One of my colleague told me, he drinks tea to stay awake. Tea is stronger than coffee. Coffee has no effect on him (sometimes I even saw him drinking black coffee. o_O) A friend suggested to me to drink tea with honey instead of sugar. So I went to buy a bottle of honey and I like it! And instead of Lipton tea, I drink rose tea. 5 roses and 1 1/2 tablespoons of honey for making 2 cups of tea. Sometimes I take 2 cups in the morning and another 2 cups after lunch. Sometimes I add with a pinch of lavender flower too. But I still prefer just honey and rose tea. The aroma from the roses is so refreshing. :)

Back Pain

When I was young, I always heard my mom or grand mother complaining having back pain, especially after they had carried something heavy. I was still a teenager. At that time, having back ache seems like not something happen to me very frequently.

The last time I had terrible back ache, was when I was pregnant with H. I was around 8 months pregnant during that time. It was a Saturday and we were getting ready to travel to Malacca for a short trip with my parents and my brother family. L was 2 years old that time. She was much attached to me, and even more when I was pregnant. She always demanded me to carry her. So that morning, she asked to be carried again. It was my mistake actually. I thought just for a while, I did not squat down before carrying her. I just bend down and when I wanted to lift her up, *OUCH!!!* I felt a sharp burning sensation on my back! I shouted in pain, and put her down immediately. For a while, I couldn't move at all. Just stood there letting the pain go off. I could hardly walk. But I thought it would go off soon so I did not think much about it. Just continue to load the stuff into the car and then we set off to Malacca.

During the car ride, the pain did not go away. In fact, it was getting worse. When we stopped the car for toilet break, I had difficulty getting down from the car to bring Lynn to the toilet. I could hardly walk too. Every movement would cause me in great pain. I consider myself have very high tolerance on the pain, still could not take it. It was very very very painful. Much much more painful than giving birth. :(

After taking our lunch in Malacca, we decided to pay a visit to the doctor. We went to one of the hospital in the town. Seeing my big tummy, at first the nurses thought I'm going to deliver! LOL! The doctor checked my blood pressure and my back. He prescribed me panadol as pain killer. He mentioned that it is safe for me to take the panadol. He also gave me some patches to put on my back, to relief the pain. Could not remember the name now. I did not take the panadol but I did put on the patch. The patch did help a lot. Still painful, but at least I could move around. Night time sleeping was another night mare. I could not get up alone without help, to go to the toilet. I could not turn my body too. Every movement was a great pain. It was a restless night.

Could not remember how long I suffered from that back pain. But Lynn did not ask for carry anymore after that. She knew I was in pain. She would say "Mama pain pain".

Few months back, I experienced some back pain too. During that time, I had coffee almost every working day. So I tried to cut down the coffee intake, and the back pain would go away. Since then, I limit myself to maximum of 3 cups of coffee a week. Usually I only consume 2 cups per week.

For the past one month, consistently I'm having back pain almost everyday. At first I thought maybe due to coffee. However despite I stop taking coffee for the whole week, the pain did not go away. I also tried putting a small pillow under my back when I sleep at night, but it did not help much this time (this method used to work well for me before this). It is not very pain, still bearable, but VERY annoying. I can feel the pain most of the time, whether I am walking, sitting, or even sleeping. I'm not sure is it due to carrying Hao? He is getting heavier now. However I don't really carry him much nowadays. Not even more than 5 minutes. A short hug and carry when I pick up the kids at my parents house (H will sure ask for carry, except if he's sitting in the high chair having his dinner), carry him to the car seat and carry him to switch off the lights. I don't carry him when we are outside shopping etc. Usually hb is the one (only if H asks for carry). I don't really think carry H is the reason. Then what is the reason causing the back pain? Sigh. No idea. Maybe it is due to the stress from work? *Shrug* Going for a body check-up this weekend. Hope to find some clue there.

Wishing you all a great weekend! 

Stories of a Grandma with her Grandchildren

Grandma has 2 sons and 4 grandchildren, 2 from each son. Whenever grandma meets her grand daughter, she would surely "remind" her that she has no manners.

Story 1

One Sunday evening, grand daughter was meeting uncle, aunty, grandma and her cousins. She was so happy the moment she saw them. As usual, she greeted every one of them.

Grand daughter: Aunty, you see I'm so pretty (showing off her beautiful dress).
Grandma: Pretty has no use. It'll better if you have good manner.

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Story 2

During dinner, papa ordered banana milk for grand daughter and grand son. Uncle chose to have tea together with Grandma. Not too long after that, the drink was being served to everyone. Grand daughter took a sip of the banana milk and she loves it. She also offered it to her brother, before putting it down on the table while waiting for the food.

One moment later, grand daughter realized her drink had gone missing. 
Grand daughter: Ei? Where is my banana milk?

Mama saw uncle was taking a sip of the banana milk. It seems that uncle wanted to taste it. He put it back right after that.

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Story3

It was a Sunday evening. Grandma, papa, mama, uncle and 2 grandchildren were dining out. It was a traditional Korean food, with various side dishes were served. One of them was this meat ball. However there were only 4 meat balls for all 4 adults and 2 children.

Grand daughter: Mama, I want the meat ball.
Mama took one meat ball and gave to her.

After grand daughter finished the meat ball, she wanted some more. So she asked her mama again.

Grand daughter: Mama, can I have some more meat ball please?
Mama: No, you have your share already. Mama has given you one.  Grandma, uncle and papa still not yet have eaten the meat ball. We have to share the food.

Grand daughter loves meat ball. She wanted more of it. So she continued pestering mama for it.
Grand daughter: Mama, can I have some more meat ball please?
Mama: No.... others have not yet eaten.... mama gives you other food ok? How about some eggs?
Grand daughter: I don't want egg. I want meat ball.

Grandma and uncle overheard the grand daughter asked for the meat ball.

Uncle: You want meat ball? Never mind just take it.
Grandma: Yeah, just take it.
Uncle: Come, uncle takes for you. (Took one meat ball and put on grand daughter's bowl.)

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Story 4

Kids were playing on their place while waiting for the food at the dinner table; standing on the chair, playing loudly. It was a public place at a restaurant, thinking that the children may disturb other guests in the restaurant; mama had to keep on reminding the children to behave and play quietly. Also it is not save to stand on a chair, also not the right thing to do, mama also keep on asking the children to sit down. However despite numerous reminders, the children still keep on standing and playing loudly. Papa become annoyed and raised his voice to the children. Grandma and uncle think papa should not raise his voice in the public. But without raising voice, the children won't behave.
 
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Story 5

Grand daughter always like to sit with aunty whenever they are having dinner together outside. Grandma wanted to take picture with aunty and grand son. Not sure how, grandma took over grand daughter's place. When grand daughter realized her place got taken, she wanted it back.

Grand daughter: Hey this is my place! I want to sit here.
Grandma: Grandma just wants to take picture with aunty for a while. Can you sit over there first?
Grand daughter: Don't want. I want to sit here. I don't want to sit there. (Worrying that she does not get to sit with aunty anymore.)
Grandma: We just want to take photo, it won't take long. You sit over there first, ok?
Grand daughter: No, I want to sit here. (It was a long bench. She tried to squeeze herself thought to reach her place.)
Grandma was not happy about it.
Grandma: No manners! (And put a black face to the grand daughter.)

Mama asked grand daughter to sit with her and apologize to grandma.

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Story 6

Grand daughter no. 2 is still a baby, about 10 months old. Since she can't take much adult food yet, most of the time she would be sitting on the high chair and watches the adults eating. Sometimes she would feel boring and make some noise to complain. She likes to play with her lips. During one of the dinner session, she was playing with her lips, spouting the saliva loudly and non-stop. Grandma thought she was being funny and went over to play with her. So the grand daughter continued spouting the saliva, making "buuuuu..... buuuu....." sounds there. 


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"Not-so-Happy" Father's Day

Warning: This is not a nice post. I just want to rant what I'm not happy about in my personal blog here.


Father's day falls on 3rd Sunday in the month of June. Coincident, someone from hb's family the birthday is also falls very close to Father's Day. As hb's father is no longer around, so instead of celebrating Father's Day, we will be celebrating the family birthday together. Last year, due to the birthday, we celebrate Father's Day with my parents and my brother family 3 weeks later.

My SIL just gave birth to her second child. She's still having confinement at home. So this year Father's Day celebration we will be eating at home. My brother was suggesting buy back food so that my mom does not need to cook. As my mom is working on Saturday, and Sunday noon they will be busy with some baby full moon stuff, so my brother has set that we will meet up for dinner. I told hubby about it, and asked him to organize the family birthday dinner to some other day.

So hb called up his family. Right after hb asked if it's ok to have the birthday celebration on the following week, hb got scolded. Firstly, me being blamed being the culprit of this - as the celebration is for my father. Secondly, we are being scolded as "no heart". I was like - WTF. Are we doing wrong want to celebrate Father's Day with my father? Since when we said we are not going to celebrate the birthday with her? Just one week later, cannot wait? Why she's not asking the reasons but scold hb straightaway? And we have no heart? Hb was pissed off. He had to mention the birthday gift that I get Lynn to make for her, to calm her down. No heart? If we really no heart, I can throw away what I have asked Lynn to make. That is no heart.

Because of this storm, hb wanted to excuse himself from the dinner at night, as he needed to settle it. He can't have it bother him for the rest of the week. I feel sad. I can but I dislike going back myself, because I hate to answer when my bro or my SIL asks me where is hb. I got that every time when I go back alone.

I feel she has no respect for us, and now to my family too. During Mother's Day last month, we reached there at 7.30pm (all of us took afternoon nap and I woke up at 6.30pm. Immediately I woke up others to get ready to go out and we left the house at 7pm). When we reached there, we were scolded for being so late "Why so late? You guys are not hungry is it? That's why never think of other people here are so hungry." And we get scolded in front of everyone, including the children. I was like, what? How can you think us like that? Instead asking why we were late (to be honest, I don't think it's very late. First, no time were set on what time we should meet up. It is the usual time we go back), we were being accused of something we never meant to be! 

And now Father's Day, the day and time not set by us. Yes we have the right to say no. That's why hb was calling want to ask about it. Secondly, if she wants us to celebrate birthday instead of celebrating the Father's Day, won't that my father will be having same thoughts too? No matter how it's Father's Day! Again, I feel no respect, to my brother and to my father.

Later my mom called me asking why we are not going back. I told her the truth. She was stunned. But she did not get angry about it. Instead she told me, next year we will celebrate Father's Day on different day so there will be no clash. That's make me think - why my mom can be so kind but she can't. When she stops thinking about herself and started to think about others? She always accuses us not thinking about her. Well, if she is more kind and have respect to us, I will be more comfortable doing more to make her happy, which I did before. Unfortunately she has destroyed it. Initially I wanted to get Lynn to hand made a birthday card too. But now I'm not motivated to do more as I feel no respect from her.

5th Anniversary

This post is to remind own self not to repeat the same mistakes again.

Today mark the 5th year wedding anniversary for me and hb. We have been dating for 4 years before we get married. Altogether is a 9 years relationship. During these 9 years, we have been gone through many many things - many tears, many talks, many fights, and of course many happy moments too. We had 2 major fights and almost split. First fight led to a 3-months cool down period. Where in these 3 months, we did not talk and we did not go out with each other. Second fight made me depressed for 9 months. It is the worst time in my life and it is a very expensive lesson learn. I definitely would not like to go through it again. It also has changed me to a different person:

1. Set no expectation

In the past, during weekend I would like hb to help out in the housework. However hb always not motivated to do housework, even though he just needs to clean the floor. One task only. While I had to handle other things, like washing, cooking and taking care the kids (they are very attached to me). So I would feel frustrated over hb's attitude. I would blame him for not helping.

But now not anymore. Because I have changed my thinking - this is my house too. Why would I care if hb helps to clean the house or not? If I want it clean, I can just do it myself. I don't have to depend or rely on other person. So I stopped blaming him. I stopped feeling not happy just because of he's not helping. If I'm not too tired, I will just do it myself. He probably is tired too and would like to rest. It's just us living here. So no rush to stress ourselves to keep the house freaking clean. And what do I get in return? Hb will automatically do the cleaning part without being asked for. This means he's more willing to do it without the "stress" from me. :)

2. Move from family focus to self focus and now try to balance it with the kids

I used to do lots of things for other people in the family - hb or the kids. I enjoyed doing things for them, and even willing to sacrifice my limited personal time just for them. I feel terrible when I feel all effort spent was not appreciated. But in fact, I never think of is this what they want. If it is not what they want, of course they won't appreciate it. So I'm making myself getting hurt. Feel stupid right? I learn my lesson and started to keep some personal time for myself everyday. That's how the sleeping late habit started. I realized that without fixing myself, I cannot keep others happy. Without fixing myself, I won't be able to have more energy for others. Without fixing myself, I cannot feel happy. So the me time is important. It also helps me to de-stress after a full day work in the office.

3. Have common interest and stay connect

Hb and I used to go exercise - jogging, gym or swimming when we were dating and also after married before we have any kids. We stopped the weekly exercise routine after L was born. L was very much attached to me and I felt bad had to trouble the parents to take care the baby. With no activities being done together, slowly we didn't feel stay connect with each other. Many times, I did not know what is in his mind. Of course we were still talking. However it is just not the same feeling anymore.

Now we will do some activities where both of us enjoy. Whether we are staying at home, or going out, with the kids or without the kids. We have common group of friends or people that we know. We have common topics to talk about.

4. Support each other

In the past, I gave my support to him using my way. Thinking it was what he need. But now, I learn to support him in the way that how he want it. We give each other full freedom on things that we want to do. He is fine with me going out with friends leaving the kids with him at home.

Right now, I would say we are in a very stable relationship and there should be nothing that can break us apart. Hb is not a very romantic person. So I won't hope for any flowers or candle light dinner. In fact in the past 4 years, there was no celebration on this day at all. But this is not important. Most important is, we still love each other and we want to keep this relationship moving on.

Happy Anniversary to me, and have a nice day to all of you. :)