November

This month is my birthday month, but that does not bring any good luck to me. On the other hand, I feel I was doomed from the start of the month.

I'm still waiting for my last year birthday's prezzie. Yes last year. I did not get my birthday present last year that I requested. So I requested for something else and I'm still waiting for it. As for this year birthday present, I will only get it next month. Because it only available early next month.

And within the same week, I feel like I have lost two friendships. One of them accused me for things that I did not say and did not do. Later he realized he made a mistake. He mistaken the person was me but in fact it is someone else. I feel hurt and disappointed, because he was not a stranger to me. We know each other for quite some time and I was surprised that he believed I would say such thing. This show how weak our friendship is. On top of that, after he had realised that he made a mistake on it, he did not even come apologize to me! I know he has his other own issues and problems but hey if you made a mistake, don't you suppose to say sorry? Everyone has their own issues and problems. But I think we should be responsible on our action. Have done something wrong, then say sorry and apologize. I'm teaching my 2.5 years old to say sorry too!

Another incident happened due to some friends from other country did not understand our culture and belief. I did not blame him for not understanding but please stop attacking us. We are the victims and yet we are the one being blamed here.

I also could not get full support and help when I need it. I have been constantly helping, guiding and doing lots of favor for people but now what am I getting in return? Should I go back to the old me, close up myself from people around me?

Just when I was feeling sad and down, there is this friend who never stop cheering me up. And what most, he offered his help. I should feel grateful at least there is still someone who treats me well. Sigh. Despite he is just someone who I met in the online game, we never met each other in real life, and we also don't interact with each other outside the game, and yet hubby got jealous about him. I have never met someone that will never reject a request if within his capability. And in return, I also return all favors that he asked. In another way, I don't want to owe him anything. You help me, I help you back. That's all. To me, there's no reason for hubby to be jealous. It's not that something will happen. This guy is more than 10 years younger than me! And I'm a very rational person. Feel like hubby does not trust me. Sigh.

One and a half month more, year 2010 will end and another new year is coming. Feel like I have accomplished nothing in this year. Looks like I need to plan a day off to do things that will make me feel better.