Blood is more thick?

Ever since I found out the girl eats the food behind us, I have been very cold to her. I made her pack her own bag to school. I said No to all the requests that she asked. I did not hug her. I did not talk to her. I scolded her for small little thing. Sigh, I just can't help it. Besides getting mad at her, I also feel heart broken at the same time as she did not feel sorry about what she has done. As if she has done nothing wrong. She still plays with the boy as usual. She still asks for this and that.

Last night, I read a book, about this man who is 40 years of age, consider successful in his life. He loves rodeo and has been winning a lots and thus become famous. However that is not what his parents want. His parents work in the military and his father always wanted him to be in the military as well. But military is just not in his blood. Thus he did not have a very good relationship with his parent. At 40 years old, suddenly he found out that he is not his parents' biological child. His mother took him from the hospital when she found out her newborn son has died. He is shock at the truth and he does not know how to cope and does not know how to face his biological parents. The biological parents have 4 children, 3 sons and 1 daughter. The other 2 sons have died so only left this son. They are hoping to see him. One side is someone who actually has no relationship with him but has raised him up and with him for the past 40 years. Another side is his actual parents but know nothing about him for the past 40 years.

I turned to look at the gal who was sleeping soundly next to my bed. For a moment, I feel like want to hug her and kiss her. She looks so beautiful when sleeping. Sometimes she's like an angel to me; help me taking care of the boy so well. But when she becomes an evil, she made me so mad that I just feel like want to strangulate her and throw her out. Sigh I wish I can be more patient with her. This morning when I woke up, when I saw her face I back to the bad mommy mood again. Sometimes I feel defeated, don't know how to deal with her. We have tried different ways, but seems like all are not working. Sigh. It is so difficult to be a good parent.