A Time to Embrace by Karen Kingsbury

Time to Embrace is the sequel for Time to Dance from the Timeless Love Series by Karen Kingsbury.

John Reynolds is a dedicated football coach. He has been with Marion High since 25 years ago. He is not only a coach, he's also act like a friend, and a father to the students too.

After nearly divorcing, John and Abby Reynolds have renewed their vows and are feeling like newlyweds. They rebuild their trust, appreciating each other, experiencing a season of joy and restoration.

However, ever since this year Marion High football team does not perform so well in the matches, the parents started to make complains. Parents seem to be only concern about winning, and whether their son is getting more playing time or not. They overlook if their son is having the right attitude. There are even some players involve in illegal street racing, drinking and some even bullying other students. Parents write a letter to the Sports Director and requested Coach John to be fired.

Abby is a very supportive wife to John. Especially after overcoming the crisis in their marriage, they treasure each other more and make time to enjoy life.

One night after finishing up work in the office, John met with a car accident, that change his life totally after that.

A Time to Embrace is a realistic fiction story. Many of the issues told in the book could happen to any family. It is also a story of love and forgiveness. There are many different emotions are shared throughout the story. The Reynolds family learns to cope with John's condition after the accident, forgive the student who hit him. The accident also made the students and the parents realize what they have done wrong.  

There are a lot of spiritual content in this book. And the faith to God is keep on being tested. I enjoy reading this book very much. It made me think - what I can enjoy today, do not mean I may have the chance to enjoy it tomorrow. So treasure what we have now. Another thing that made me ponder a lot is - forgiveness. Forgive a person may not be an easy task. Especially if you have done it once, and now you are doing it second time. It is something that I still have a lot to learn.

I rate this book 4 out of 5 star.


Note: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Recruitment Ad

A drafted the recruitment ad for hiring internship. He showed it to B and C asking for comment.

Responsibilities:

• To be involved in analysing, designing, developing and testing financial/accounting software applications.
• Understand business requirements for the project, and translate these into functional specifications.
• Analyse, design and document business processes.
• Design user interfaces.
• Design and execute test scenarios and test plans.
• Conduct user acceptance testing.
• Continually improve the quality and efficiency of the application.
• Maintain good understanding of application functionality and technical architecture, as well as knowledge of product positioning and market.

Requirements:

• Bachelor's Degree in Business Studies/Administration/Management, Finance/Accountancy, Information Technology or relevant industry certification.
• Good knowledge of financial/accounting software applications is highly preferred. 
• Ability to apply trouble-shooting and analytical skills when resolving problems.
• Ability to work independently or in a team, and under pressure.
• Ability to quickly understand business processes.

B: Err... seems a lot for internship. Hahaha.

C: Ya, scary.

A: What to cut?

B: Maybe rephrase to make it sounds simpler?

A: Re-phase:

• Age below 23.
• Single
• Men are not encourage to apply

B: You mean only show this one without all text above? Hahahahaha!

C: And... a full body photo :p

School holidays and Kids

Every year in the month of December, the child care center where the kids are attending will be closed for one week plus. Besides CNY, this last school term break is the longest break of the year. As both of us need to work, normally I will request parent's help on taking care the kids when the child care is closed. For the past 2 years, I have been sending the kids to the parents.

Due to the bad experience last year, this year I decided for those days that my mom is not available, I'm going to take leave to take care them myself. Initially we were thinking of going for a family trip. However we could not decide where we want to go, and another reason is I do not want any other family members to join our family trip. I just want solely four of us. So at the end nothing has been planned, and there is no trip for us.
Despite the fact that I'm not getting paid for taking leave (all my leave are unpaid as I am on consultant basis). But I think I rather get paid less than going through the mental stress for sending the kids to the parents house. My mom is fine. She will take good care of my kids without me need to worry anything. She will base on the situation and make her own judgement without bothering me during working hours. And she always willing to help (she understand about my work) and do some adjustment or rearrange her schedule if needed. So I would not hesitate to send the kids to her.

Lately me and my mom have some opportunities to spend the time together, just us and my gal. I think it was very long time ago since we got some time to have some good chat sessions, just both of us. I did not do it on purpose but I also did not hide when we talked about the other family members and I started whining to her what I'm not happy about. My mom has no issue taking care my kids for me while I'm at work. Both of the kids are not difficult to handle and they are used to the grandparents as well. But it never occur to me that my brother will question about how come the other family member is not helping on taking care the kids. While I don't need him to know why, I explained to my mom that it is just me that wish not want to trouble the other family member. I rather get less paid, than going through the mental stress dealing with other family member especially about the kids. I would not want to beg, I would not like to feel like I'm troubling them. Yes I know I am. I know they may want to do spring cleaning and stuff since it is year end. But please also understand that I'm not going for holiday, I need to work and the child care is closed. Nothing much that I can do about it unless I'm taking leave, which means besides making boss not happy, the income for the month also becoming much lesser. And I also feel annoyed or frustrated on getting phone call during working hours, on what time should give them milk, what time is their nap time, what time is their lunch etc. I understand that the main intention is to maintain the routine for the kids, but I also believe these things are adjustable. We are adult and we can make our own judgement and the kids are no longer a baby. While I feel thankful that in the past, sometimes with last minute notice we still could send the kids to the parent's house without me need to take EL. But also for the past 2 years, almost each time sending the kids over will give me such mental stress. And there is no improvement. I think I have enough stress especially stress from work to deal with and I certainly do not welcome more of it. So this year I decided to stop sending kids over and when if really can't avoid I would take EL which I did.

Last month, me and hubby needed to attend a seminar which we needed to leave the house very early to beat the trafficjam. For first time I left the boy sleeping with my mom and I'm glad that he did not give my mom any hard time at all. My mom said the boy is very easy. He would go to sleep as instructed. He also did not disturb others. So far I have left both kids stay overnight at my mom place twice. Maybe I will do the same on the week when my mom will help take care them then the child care is closed. As they will just go home sleep and go back there the next morning. My mom will take care the rest. I just need to pack enough clothes. So if they can stay overnight there I don't need to travel further to drop the kids in the morning on the way to work. Then I also can be more relax after work and have some private time for me and hubby. We can go catch a movie or so. The only one concern I have is, I notice the gal tends to be more naughty in my parents house. One thing is my parents does not handle them the same way we are. Of course we know them the best and we have our own way to make the kids listen to us. Another reason is they love playing with their cousin there. So they will just keep on playing and playing.

I just submitted my leave form this morning. Looking at the workload and task that I'm doing now it should be not an issue for me to take leave. Total the child care and kindy will close for 7 working days. My mom can help on 3 days and thus I'm taking 4 days off. Plan to take them out for a day and have not decided what to do with three other days. I think it is more worth it to spend some good time with the kids than dealing with the mental stress, and worrying making some people not happy.

My Favorite Wife by Tony Parsens

My Favorite Wife is the story of a lawyer, Bill Horden who brings his young family from London to Shanghai, China. He will be made partner in a couple of years so that he and his family can have better life.

However not everything in Shanghai are what they have expected. There are farmers have their land ripped away from them, babies being thrown into trashcans, and there are women selling their bodies to earn a living.

Their lifestyle also has changed a lot. Bill always leave the home early for work and come back after his wife Becca and his daughter Holly have gone to bed. He spent very little time with his family and most of his time at work, entertaining the clients after working hours.

After Holly's sudden asthma attack, Becca shock at finding a baby in the trash, and at the same time worrying on her sick father back home, Becca demands to go back to London. Leave Bill alone in Shanghai.

In Paradise Mansions, the place where Bill and his family are staying has a group of young women being kept as mistresses by rich married men – some local, some foreigners. After Becca and Holly went back to London, Bill gets lonely and strikes up much more than a friendship with the beautiful JinJin Li, one of the ladies from that group of young women. And you probably can guess what happen next.

The second half of the book mainly talks about Bill being alone in Shanghai and his interactions with JinJin Li. I dislike the fact that he knew he should not do it, he knew it is wrong and yet the next minute he has forgotten about it and go all out with her.

The story of the book made me in low mood for quite a while as it brought back some bad memories. I feel dissatisfied about the ending of the book. Not that I don't like the ending but I feel it is a bit rush. The author jumps to the ending without talking much about the interactions between Bill and Becca on this issue. In fact this book mainly focuses on Bill. There is no much mention about Becca after knowing her husband has betrayed her. There is no much details about her feelings and how she can forgive her husband on this matter.

I won't say this book is not a good read. In fact it is a very interesting book because it’s a Westerner’s point of view of Asian life. But it's not a book to make you feel comfortable, not for me.   

I rate this book 3 out of 5 stars.

Then Sings My Soul Special Edition By Robert Morgan

Then Sings My Soul by Robert J. Morgan is a compilation of 150 Christian hymns and the stories behind them, of the people whose faith led them to write these wonderful seasonal hymns and the people whose faith was affected by reading, hearing, and singing the songs. The book includes the music and lyrics for each hymn, along with a brief synopsis of the lyricist and/or composer. Hymns range from Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Patriotic, and other well loved hymns. The music and lyrics and the stories are printed side by side so it is very easy to read and make reference to each other. If you enjoy history, you will find this book to be an enjoyable and enlightening read. This book will also make a great gift for anyone who loves the religious hymns of the seasons. 

I rate this book 3 out of 5 star. 

Note: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

November

This month is my birthday month, but that does not bring any good luck to me. On the other hand, I feel I was doomed from the start of the month.

I'm still waiting for my last year birthday's prezzie. Yes last year. I did not get my birthday present last year that I requested. So I requested for something else and I'm still waiting for it. As for this year birthday present, I will only get it next month. Because it only available early next month.

And within the same week, I feel like I have lost two friendships. One of them accused me for things that I did not say and did not do. Later he realized he made a mistake. He mistaken the person was me but in fact it is someone else. I feel hurt and disappointed, because he was not a stranger to me. We know each other for quite some time and I was surprised that he believed I would say such thing. This show how weak our friendship is. On top of that, after he had realised that he made a mistake on it, he did not even come apologize to me! I know he has his other own issues and problems but hey if you made a mistake, don't you suppose to say sorry? Everyone has their own issues and problems. But I think we should be responsible on our action. Have done something wrong, then say sorry and apologize. I'm teaching my 2.5 years old to say sorry too!

Another incident happened due to some friends from other country did not understand our culture and belief. I did not blame him for not understanding but please stop attacking us. We are the victims and yet we are the one being blamed here.

I also could not get full support and help when I need it. I have been constantly helping, guiding and doing lots of favor for people but now what am I getting in return? Should I go back to the old me, close up myself from people around me?

Just when I was feeling sad and down, there is this friend who never stop cheering me up. And what most, he offered his help. I should feel grateful at least there is still someone who treats me well. Sigh. Despite he is just someone who I met in the online game, we never met each other in real life, and we also don't interact with each other outside the game, and yet hubby got jealous about him. I have never met someone that will never reject a request if within his capability. And in return, I also return all favors that he asked. In another way, I don't want to owe him anything. You help me, I help you back. That's all. To me, there's no reason for hubby to be jealous. It's not that something will happen. This guy is more than 10 years younger than me! And I'm a very rational person. Feel like hubby does not trust me. Sigh.

One and a half month more, year 2010 will end and another new year is coming. Feel like I have accomplished nothing in this year. Looks like I need to plan a day off to do things that will make me feel better.

Adventures in Booga Booga Land - Volume 1 (DVD)

Adventures in Booga Booga Land - Volume 1 consists of three stories, all based on the parables of Jesus. The three parables are Workers in the Vineyard from Matthew 20:1-16, Wise and the Foolish Builders from Luke 06:47-49, and Lamp Under the Bowl from Matthew 5:14-16. Each story is about 15 minutes long.

The stories are presented in a fun and humorous way. The two main characters are Marty the monkey and Gerard the giraffe. Marty is a monkey who acts without thinking much while Gerard is the smarter one between the two. My 4yo enjoyed watching it very much and asked for more while the 2yo did not seem to show much interest on it. Nevertheless he stayed with us to finish watching the whole DVD.

In summary the stories are fun. It would be better if they could have more emphasis on the Bible story and how it relates to us.

I rate this DVD 3 out of 5.

Note: I received this DVD free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

My new washing machine

Absolutely love my new washing machine. :D I used to have a semi-auto washing machine. Not so much on want to save money on buying a washer during that time, it's more on want to keep the water for reuse purpose. Since I was young, my parents have been using semi-auto washing machine. So an automatic washing machine is an alien to me. Every time we need to rinse the water, we will keep the water in pails to be used for flushing the toilet. We save lots of water by doing this way. This has never been changed even till today. My parents are still using semi-auto washing machine at their home.

However after I get married and started living by ourselves, just the two of us at the beginning, we did not use much water. The pails of water were there for few days. Worrying that it might encourage the mosquitoes to breed, I actually stopped collecting the water after a very short while. Even now with the additions of the kids, we still did not use much water as most of the time we are not at home. The monthly water bill is just the minimum amount to pay. The only time I had to pay more was during the confinement month. Another problem is, since it is semi-automatic, it requires human to operate it. We found that it is time consuming to get the laundry done as most of the time, we were doing something else in other room and not somewhere near the washing machine. We could not hear it has stopped and need our action. I could take half a day to get the laundry done. I only do laundry twice a week - kids' clothes on Saturday and me and hubby clothes on Sunday. If it rains on Saturday, then the clothes may not get dried enough, I would have the problem on where to hang the next batch of laundry. And I have to get up very early if I want to slot in to wash our bed sheets for that week. If we need to go out during weekend, I also have issue getting the laundry done.

Few months back, me and hubby decided to get a fully automatic washing machine. It should help us save time spent on the laundry and make our live easier. As I have limited knowledge on automatic washing machine, I went to search some info from the internet before making the purchase. I found this washing machine review website very useful and information. It lists the factors I should consider before deciding on what to buy. During National holiday, we went to shop for the new washing machine. We did not really go to different shops to compare the prices. As long as I could find one that can fulfill my need and reasonable price, I would just make the purchase.

After standing there reading the manual, comparing the features, at last I chose the Hitachi model. It has energy savings, water savings, delay timer, and can load up to 10kg. Just as what I have needed. I know 10kg is big, but it is good when I need to wash bed sheets, sofa covers and curtains. Moreover I just do laundry once a week. so it is a lots to wash. I was actually not sure whether I should go for Hitachi or Samsung. At the end, I decided to go for Hitachi as it used less water as compared to Samsung. The price after discount was slightly more than 1k. It sounds reasonable to me with that big capacity.

The shop did not have ready stock for that model. So we waited for almost a month (partly due to Hari Raya) for it to arrive. It was not as difficult to learn to use it as I thought. It comes with very detailed manual. With the energy savings option turn on, the whole laundry cycle just took slightly more than 1 hour! I just need to sort out the clothes before putting them inside the washing machine, choose the right program and press Start, that's it! I even manage to wash our bed sheets in the following week! I was actually thinking of getting dryer too. A friend told me it could save our time too. But hubby was against the idea. He believes hanging out under the sun is still the best way to dry the clothes as the sun can kill any bacteria. Anyway laundry has become a breeze now. I get to have more time to do other things. Feel so happy. ^_^

Buying Milk

Ever since I was told fresh milk is much better than formula milk, I have switched the kids to taking fresh milk. The boy is on full fresh milk, while they girl I still let her continue taking the Sustagen Chocolate Milk to school. The Chinese shop nearby office is selling the fresh milk at a very reasonable price. I started with getting Dutch Lady brand fresh milk, then not too long after that I switched to Farm House brand as it is of better quality.

About 3 months ago, the Chinese shop changed ownership. During that time, the old owner told us the new owner will continue selling the Farm House fresh milk. Then the new owner took over, and they did sell Farm House fresh milk for a while. Just for a short while. At first, we waited for almost a month for them to re-supply the stock. For I think about a month or two, we get to buy the Farm House fresh milk from this Chinese shop. But just for a month or two. Just before Hari Raya, it was out of stock again. Until now! It was so inconvenient for us. We were searching everywhere for fresh milk. And lots of time, we have to revert to Dutch Lady Brand; sometimes we even have to buy the pasteurized fresh milk which is lower quality.

Besides that, only certain items they maintain same price as the previous owner. Some other items the price is slightly higher; or without the bulk purchase discount. The new owner also is less friendly. In fact, I don't think I ever seen the owner. Those people in the shop are just the staffs. The cashier looks like foreign worker to me. They do not smile and do not greet the customers. Sometimes I can see few Chinese staff around, but not all the time. This shop is just one of the branches. I heard that HQ is in PJ Old Town. Unlike previous owner, where it was a family business, the people are very friendly. It is not just me, even my colleague also prefers the previous owner.

In summary, I don't see the change in ownership is good for the existing customers. Nowadays I will only go there to buy food that I could not get from the Chinese shop near my house. I prefer those shops run by family. The Chinese shop near my house is smaller but they are very friendly people. They can recognize us easily. The kids love them as they are so friendly and very helpful too. Unfortunately they don't sell fresh milk. Their price is also slightly cheaper by around 50 cent. I like to give them business because of their good service and friendliness. Within one year, their shop expanded from one shop lot to two shop lots. In this competitive environment, I believe reasonable price and good customer service is the key to keep the customers happy and loyal to you.

Love and Respect for a Lifetime

Women Absolutely Need Love. Men Absolutely Need Respect. Its as Simple and as Complicated as That...

This is a very beautiful and good quality gift book. Hard cover, 155 pages. It is not very wordly. So you can read through all pages very fast. Main points are being highlighted. Good for those people who don't have much time to read. Based on over three decades of counseling, and scientific and biblical research, the author of this book Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, shows couples how to have a happier and more fulfilling marriage. It stresses a lots on respect and love. You can see it keep on popping up very often, to keep on reminding the important of love and respect to women and men. However I think, more examples on how a man shows his love to his wife, and how a woman shows her respect to her husband would be better. As we all know, man and woman does not see things and feel it the same way, the wife may think she's respecting the husband but the husband may not feel the same and vice versa. Thus more examples will be great.

Here I would like to share some of the quotes available in the book: -

1. Women look at the world through pink glasses, while men look at that same world through the blue glasses. They do not necessarily see the same thing.

2. It is crucial for husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong but that both of them are very different - in boldy function, outlook and perspective.

3. When a husband asks his wife to forgive him, he is giving her a gift of love.

4. When a women asks "Do you love me?" She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking reassurance.

5. Marital researches agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said - the attitude and tone of voice.

I will rate this book 3 out of 5.

Disclosure: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Forgiving & Letting Go

I feel very de-motivated recently. Things are not done in a way I would like it to be. There are people that I would like to meet but not around. There are people that I would not like to meet always appear in front of me. I wish I could have done something more but instead I stop doing it almost totally. I wish I could have spent less time on some activities but I fail to so. I wish I could have more time with the kids but when I have some time I spent it doing something else. Due to friendship I did something that made me not happy. I wanted to do something else but because of the relationship I feel that I need to give support. Oh What am I doing!!! :( I started day dreaming, building my own dream that can make me feel better. It's also a dream, that will never come true.

2 years ago, when I was having depression, I listened a lot to Forgiving and Letting Go from Inner Talk. I wanted to release my anger, guilt, and fear at that time. I like the music, very soothing and calming. I felt much better after listening to the music. At least I'm able to cool down myself. I don't have the CD with me in the office here. So I downloaded the free mp3 and listen in the office. Just want to make myself feel better before leaving office today. Forgiving is not easy, not to mention letting go. I hope tomorrow is a better day!

The King's Christmas List by Eldon Johnson

The King’s Christmas list by Eldon Johnson is a beautifully illustrated children book. It all began for Emma and her dog, Shu Shu, when they were decorating the playhouse for Christmas. Emma received an invitation from the King, to the King's birthday party, from the mailbox of the playhouse. And at the same time, Emma found that she can actually understood what Shu Shu said! And Shu Shu could understand her too! Emma couldn’t wait to go to the King’s birthday party, but what should she bring? They decided to bring the Christmas cake they made with Mom and put on their Sunday best, together with her beloved Cherry-Bear as they dash to the King’s carriage. On the way, they have encounters that lead them to bestow their cake, winter-cape, and even Cherry-Bear, on others that need them. Now Emma and Shu Shu had given all they have and left nothing for the King. What will the King think?

The King’s Christmas List is a good book that reminded us the true meaning of Christmas. Gifts, may not be must be in the form of things. And the children learn about giving, instead of getting Christmas gifts all the time. This book is easy to understand and suitable for children aged 4 to 8. I rate this book 4 starts out of 5 starts.   


Note: Thomas Nelson Publishers provided this as an advance reading for their Booksneeze bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Coffee and Tea

I like the nice aroma of the coffee. It makes me feel refreshing. My office used to have a coffee maker, where we can make cappucino, coffee latte and espresso. I love cappuccino as it is less strong. I like espresso too but I avoid taking it most of the time as it is very strong. When someone makes a cup of coffee from the coffee maker, the whole office will be filled with the nice smell of coffee aroma. During that time, almost everyday I have to resist myself from drinking coffee everyday. It is hard to resist the nice coffee aroma. However since about 1 year ago the coffee maker has spoilt and I heard the cost of repairing it is not cheap. So company did not proceed to fix it and since then no more cappuccino or coffee latte for me, back to the 3-in-1 coffee mix. I usually take only 2 cups per week, when I feel like it. I don't have the habit and I'm also not addict to the coffee. I'm a Milo person actually. I must have a cup of Milo every morning in the office. And I can only take coffee with stomach full, so I will only drink it after lunch.

Lately I noticed that, I have difficulty falling asleep after taking a cup of coffee in the afternoon. I can even stay up to 3-5am in the morning. Argh! Is it a sign of aging? Sigh. It happened few times already. So my sleeping time for the past 2 weeks was being messed up. I think I should stop taking coffee for the time being.

Since no coffee, I switch to drink tea! One of my colleague told me, he drinks tea to stay awake. Tea is stronger than coffee. Coffee has no effect on him (sometimes I even saw him drinking black coffee. o_O) A friend suggested to me to drink tea with honey instead of sugar. So I went to buy a bottle of honey and I like it! And instead of Lipton tea, I drink rose tea. 5 roses and 1 1/2 tablespoons of honey for making 2 cups of tea. Sometimes I take 2 cups in the morning and another 2 cups after lunch. Sometimes I add with a pinch of lavender flower too. But I still prefer just honey and rose tea. The aroma from the roses is so refreshing. :)

Back Pain

When I was young, I always heard my mom or grand mother complaining having back pain, especially after they had carried something heavy. I was still a teenager. At that time, having back ache seems like not something happen to me very frequently.

The last time I had terrible back ache, was when I was pregnant with H. I was around 8 months pregnant during that time. It was a Saturday and we were getting ready to travel to Malacca for a short trip with my parents and my brother family. L was 2 years old that time. She was much attached to me, and even more when I was pregnant. She always demanded me to carry her. So that morning, she asked to be carried again. It was my mistake actually. I thought just for a while, I did not squat down before carrying her. I just bend down and when I wanted to lift her up, *OUCH!!!* I felt a sharp burning sensation on my back! I shouted in pain, and put her down immediately. For a while, I couldn't move at all. Just stood there letting the pain go off. I could hardly walk. But I thought it would go off soon so I did not think much about it. Just continue to load the stuff into the car and then we set off to Malacca.

During the car ride, the pain did not go away. In fact, it was getting worse. When we stopped the car for toilet break, I had difficulty getting down from the car to bring Lynn to the toilet. I could hardly walk too. Every movement would cause me in great pain. I consider myself have very high tolerance on the pain, still could not take it. It was very very very painful. Much much more painful than giving birth. :(

After taking our lunch in Malacca, we decided to pay a visit to the doctor. We went to one of the hospital in the town. Seeing my big tummy, at first the nurses thought I'm going to deliver! LOL! The doctor checked my blood pressure and my back. He prescribed me panadol as pain killer. He mentioned that it is safe for me to take the panadol. He also gave me some patches to put on my back, to relief the pain. Could not remember the name now. I did not take the panadol but I did put on the patch. The patch did help a lot. Still painful, but at least I could move around. Night time sleeping was another night mare. I could not get up alone without help, to go to the toilet. I could not turn my body too. Every movement was a great pain. It was a restless night.

Could not remember how long I suffered from that back pain. But Lynn did not ask for carry anymore after that. She knew I was in pain. She would say "Mama pain pain".

Few months back, I experienced some back pain too. During that time, I had coffee almost every working day. So I tried to cut down the coffee intake, and the back pain would go away. Since then, I limit myself to maximum of 3 cups of coffee a week. Usually I only consume 2 cups per week.

For the past one month, consistently I'm having back pain almost everyday. At first I thought maybe due to coffee. However despite I stop taking coffee for the whole week, the pain did not go away. I also tried putting a small pillow under my back when I sleep at night, but it did not help much this time (this method used to work well for me before this). It is not very pain, still bearable, but VERY annoying. I can feel the pain most of the time, whether I am walking, sitting, or even sleeping. I'm not sure is it due to carrying Hao? He is getting heavier now. However I don't really carry him much nowadays. Not even more than 5 minutes. A short hug and carry when I pick up the kids at my parents house (H will sure ask for carry, except if he's sitting in the high chair having his dinner), carry him to the car seat and carry him to switch off the lights. I don't carry him when we are outside shopping etc. Usually hb is the one (only if H asks for carry). I don't really think carry H is the reason. Then what is the reason causing the back pain? Sigh. No idea. Maybe it is due to the stress from work? *Shrug* Going for a body check-up this weekend. Hope to find some clue there.

Wishing you all a great weekend! 

Stories of a Grandma with her Grandchildren

Grandma has 2 sons and 4 grandchildren, 2 from each son. Whenever grandma meets her grand daughter, she would surely "remind" her that she has no manners.

Story 1

One Sunday evening, grand daughter was meeting uncle, aunty, grandma and her cousins. She was so happy the moment she saw them. As usual, she greeted every one of them.

Grand daughter: Aunty, you see I'm so pretty (showing off her beautiful dress).
Grandma: Pretty has no use. It'll better if you have good manner.

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Story 2

During dinner, papa ordered banana milk for grand daughter and grand son. Uncle chose to have tea together with Grandma. Not too long after that, the drink was being served to everyone. Grand daughter took a sip of the banana milk and she loves it. She also offered it to her brother, before putting it down on the table while waiting for the food.

One moment later, grand daughter realized her drink had gone missing. 
Grand daughter: Ei? Where is my banana milk?

Mama saw uncle was taking a sip of the banana milk. It seems that uncle wanted to taste it. He put it back right after that.

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Story3

It was a Sunday evening. Grandma, papa, mama, uncle and 2 grandchildren were dining out. It was a traditional Korean food, with various side dishes were served. One of them was this meat ball. However there were only 4 meat balls for all 4 adults and 2 children.

Grand daughter: Mama, I want the meat ball.
Mama took one meat ball and gave to her.

After grand daughter finished the meat ball, she wanted some more. So she asked her mama again.

Grand daughter: Mama, can I have some more meat ball please?
Mama: No, you have your share already. Mama has given you one.  Grandma, uncle and papa still not yet have eaten the meat ball. We have to share the food.

Grand daughter loves meat ball. She wanted more of it. So she continued pestering mama for it.
Grand daughter: Mama, can I have some more meat ball please?
Mama: No.... others have not yet eaten.... mama gives you other food ok? How about some eggs?
Grand daughter: I don't want egg. I want meat ball.

Grandma and uncle overheard the grand daughter asked for the meat ball.

Uncle: You want meat ball? Never mind just take it.
Grandma: Yeah, just take it.
Uncle: Come, uncle takes for you. (Took one meat ball and put on grand daughter's bowl.)

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Story 4

Kids were playing on their place while waiting for the food at the dinner table; standing on the chair, playing loudly. It was a public place at a restaurant, thinking that the children may disturb other guests in the restaurant; mama had to keep on reminding the children to behave and play quietly. Also it is not save to stand on a chair, also not the right thing to do, mama also keep on asking the children to sit down. However despite numerous reminders, the children still keep on standing and playing loudly. Papa become annoyed and raised his voice to the children. Grandma and uncle think papa should not raise his voice in the public. But without raising voice, the children won't behave.
 
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Story 5

Grand daughter always like to sit with aunty whenever they are having dinner together outside. Grandma wanted to take picture with aunty and grand son. Not sure how, grandma took over grand daughter's place. When grand daughter realized her place got taken, she wanted it back.

Grand daughter: Hey this is my place! I want to sit here.
Grandma: Grandma just wants to take picture with aunty for a while. Can you sit over there first?
Grand daughter: Don't want. I want to sit here. I don't want to sit there. (Worrying that she does not get to sit with aunty anymore.)
Grandma: We just want to take photo, it won't take long. You sit over there first, ok?
Grand daughter: No, I want to sit here. (It was a long bench. She tried to squeeze herself thought to reach her place.)
Grandma was not happy about it.
Grandma: No manners! (And put a black face to the grand daughter.)

Mama asked grand daughter to sit with her and apologize to grandma.

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Story 6

Grand daughter no. 2 is still a baby, about 10 months old. Since she can't take much adult food yet, most of the time she would be sitting on the high chair and watches the adults eating. Sometimes she would feel boring and make some noise to complain. She likes to play with her lips. During one of the dinner session, she was playing with her lips, spouting the saliva loudly and non-stop. Grandma thought she was being funny and went over to play with her. So the grand daughter continued spouting the saliva, making "buuuuu..... buuuu....." sounds there. 


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"Not-so-Happy" Father's Day

Warning: This is not a nice post. I just want to rant what I'm not happy about in my personal blog here.


Father's day falls on 3rd Sunday in the month of June. Coincident, someone from hb's family the birthday is also falls very close to Father's Day. As hb's father is no longer around, so instead of celebrating Father's Day, we will be celebrating the family birthday together. Last year, due to the birthday, we celebrate Father's Day with my parents and my brother family 3 weeks later.

My SIL just gave birth to her second child. She's still having confinement at home. So this year Father's Day celebration we will be eating at home. My brother was suggesting buy back food so that my mom does not need to cook. As my mom is working on Saturday, and Sunday noon they will be busy with some baby full moon stuff, so my brother has set that we will meet up for dinner. I told hubby about it, and asked him to organize the family birthday dinner to some other day.

So hb called up his family. Right after hb asked if it's ok to have the birthday celebration on the following week, hb got scolded. Firstly, me being blamed being the culprit of this - as the celebration is for my father. Secondly, we are being scolded as "no heart". I was like - WTF. Are we doing wrong want to celebrate Father's Day with my father? Since when we said we are not going to celebrate the birthday with her? Just one week later, cannot wait? Why she's not asking the reasons but scold hb straightaway? And we have no heart? Hb was pissed off. He had to mention the birthday gift that I get Lynn to make for her, to calm her down. No heart? If we really no heart, I can throw away what I have asked Lynn to make. That is no heart.

Because of this storm, hb wanted to excuse himself from the dinner at night, as he needed to settle it. He can't have it bother him for the rest of the week. I feel sad. I can but I dislike going back myself, because I hate to answer when my bro or my SIL asks me where is hb. I got that every time when I go back alone.

I feel she has no respect for us, and now to my family too. During Mother's Day last month, we reached there at 7.30pm (all of us took afternoon nap and I woke up at 6.30pm. Immediately I woke up others to get ready to go out and we left the house at 7pm). When we reached there, we were scolded for being so late "Why so late? You guys are not hungry is it? That's why never think of other people here are so hungry." And we get scolded in front of everyone, including the children. I was like, what? How can you think us like that? Instead asking why we were late (to be honest, I don't think it's very late. First, no time were set on what time we should meet up. It is the usual time we go back), we were being accused of something we never meant to be! 

And now Father's Day, the day and time not set by us. Yes we have the right to say no. That's why hb was calling want to ask about it. Secondly, if she wants us to celebrate birthday instead of celebrating the Father's Day, won't that my father will be having same thoughts too? No matter how it's Father's Day! Again, I feel no respect, to my brother and to my father.

Later my mom called me asking why we are not going back. I told her the truth. She was stunned. But she did not get angry about it. Instead she told me, next year we will celebrate Father's Day on different day so there will be no clash. That's make me think - why my mom can be so kind but she can't. When she stops thinking about herself and started to think about others? She always accuses us not thinking about her. Well, if she is more kind and have respect to us, I will be more comfortable doing more to make her happy, which I did before. Unfortunately she has destroyed it. Initially I wanted to get Lynn to hand made a birthday card too. But now I'm not motivated to do more as I feel no respect from her.

5th Anniversary

This post is to remind own self not to repeat the same mistakes again.

Today mark the 5th year wedding anniversary for me and hb. We have been dating for 4 years before we get married. Altogether is a 9 years relationship. During these 9 years, we have been gone through many many things - many tears, many talks, many fights, and of course many happy moments too. We had 2 major fights and almost split. First fight led to a 3-months cool down period. Where in these 3 months, we did not talk and we did not go out with each other. Second fight made me depressed for 9 months. It is the worst time in my life and it is a very expensive lesson learn. I definitely would not like to go through it again. It also has changed me to a different person:

1. Set no expectation

In the past, during weekend I would like hb to help out in the housework. However hb always not motivated to do housework, even though he just needs to clean the floor. One task only. While I had to handle other things, like washing, cooking and taking care the kids (they are very attached to me). So I would feel frustrated over hb's attitude. I would blame him for not helping.

But now not anymore. Because I have changed my thinking - this is my house too. Why would I care if hb helps to clean the house or not? If I want it clean, I can just do it myself. I don't have to depend or rely on other person. So I stopped blaming him. I stopped feeling not happy just because of he's not helping. If I'm not too tired, I will just do it myself. He probably is tired too and would like to rest. It's just us living here. So no rush to stress ourselves to keep the house freaking clean. And what do I get in return? Hb will automatically do the cleaning part without being asked for. This means he's more willing to do it without the "stress" from me. :)

2. Move from family focus to self focus and now try to balance it with the kids

I used to do lots of things for other people in the family - hb or the kids. I enjoyed doing things for them, and even willing to sacrifice my limited personal time just for them. I feel terrible when I feel all effort spent was not appreciated. But in fact, I never think of is this what they want. If it is not what they want, of course they won't appreciate it. So I'm making myself getting hurt. Feel stupid right? I learn my lesson and started to keep some personal time for myself everyday. That's how the sleeping late habit started. I realized that without fixing myself, I cannot keep others happy. Without fixing myself, I won't be able to have more energy for others. Without fixing myself, I cannot feel happy. So the me time is important. It also helps me to de-stress after a full day work in the office.

3. Have common interest and stay connect

Hb and I used to go exercise - jogging, gym or swimming when we were dating and also after married before we have any kids. We stopped the weekly exercise routine after L was born. L was very much attached to me and I felt bad had to trouble the parents to take care the baby. With no activities being done together, slowly we didn't feel stay connect with each other. Many times, I did not know what is in his mind. Of course we were still talking. However it is just not the same feeling anymore.

Now we will do some activities where both of us enjoy. Whether we are staying at home, or going out, with the kids or without the kids. We have common group of friends or people that we know. We have common topics to talk about.

4. Support each other

In the past, I gave my support to him using my way. Thinking it was what he need. But now, I learn to support him in the way that how he want it. We give each other full freedom on things that we want to do. He is fine with me going out with friends leaving the kids with him at home.

Right now, I would say we are in a very stable relationship and there should be nothing that can break us apart. Hb is not a very romantic person. So I won't hope for any flowers or candle light dinner. In fact in the past 4 years, there was no celebration on this day at all. But this is not important. Most important is, we still love each other and we want to keep this relationship moving on.

Happy Anniversary to me, and have a nice day to all of you. :)

I don't want to be rude

Those of you who are living on the same country with me, I'm sure you may also get some phone call, from XXX bank, telling you that "Oh you are very lucky, in conjunction with our promotion bla bla bla you have been chosen to enjoy this special programme only offered to our special customers bla bla bla", right?

To me, I don't really mind getting this kind of phone call. I do understand that they are just doing their job. However lately, I met a person that I really cannot hold back and got myself very rude to him. He was trying to sell the insurance plan to me. Normally they will call up during office hour, and ask if you can talk or not. He said it is about a special program offer to me. And then he started to talk about this special program Apparently is an insurance policy. I tried to be nice and polite, and I waited until he finished explaining everything. I also tried not to be biased, and asked a few questions about it, just to make sure I do understand what he's trying to offer. Alright, now time for him to ask if I am interested on taking the offer. Well, the policy did sound good. I was thinking maybe I should check with my SIL, who is an insurance agent, about this insurance policy that he offered me. In another way, yes I'm considering getting it. So I told him I want to think about it. And that's where the story begins.

He thought maybe I was not too clear about the benefits of the policy, and tried to explain to me again how good it is, how different it is from other policy (apparently all insurance agent will do the same thing too). I told him I have no doubt on how good the policy is, I just want to discuss with my husband about it as it involved additional expenses to the household. He quoted example of Jusco member day, where the offer only valid for one day and I cannot go back few days later to buy the things paying the offer price which is not valid anymore. I then reminded him that, at least I was informed on when is the Member day in advance (Jusco will send mail to all the Jusco members before the event take place) and I can always go with my family and we can decide on the spot whether to buy or not. He continued to say things that trying to convince me to buy on the spot, telling me (again) how good the policy that I need not let it go bla bla bla. What I dislike about him, as if he's right all the time and I was not doing it right, or my action of discussing with husband is unnecessary. While being a consumer and customer, I believe I have my rights of doing thing according to my way and make my own decision about it.

It had been more than 15 minutes on the phone with this guy and I was in the office, early morning. I started get annoyed on his long winded speech and I finally told him that, I am not interested to buy anymore. I just want to hang up and continue with my work. I know I sound very rude. I definitely prefer a better way to end the phone conversation.

One month later, I got another call from XXX bank again on some special offer again. This time I become smarter and I asked is it about insurance policy. He said it is about an special offer to me, for my birthday actually and it will just take me 5 minutes. I recognized is the same annoying guy that I have spoken earlier. Immediately I told him, if it is about insurance, I'm not interested at all. As I do not need a new insurance policy. Well, he did not give up. He insisted I should listen to him first. And then he continued to talk about the insurance policy. I waited until he finished, and repeated to him that I don't need a new policy and I'm not interested. He still keep on asking questions about what insurance that I have etc trying to convince me this is different from my other existing policies and I should get it. Well, I already mentioned that I am not interested, why can't he listen to me? Anyway, I still answered his questions, and insisted to him that, I'm not buying! And I want to hang up because he's disturbing me to work! I know I am rude. But again, I don't want to waste my time on him. And he finally got the message and hang up.

He's not the only tele-marketer who calls me up. I do receive lots of other calls on this special offer thing too. But most of them, when I said I'm not interested, they won't explain more, they will just say Thank you for your time and hang up. I think it is important that in the sales and marketing line, you listen to your customer. Not necessary that even if you are selling the best product in the world, we must buy from you. There are time when we buy a product, not because it is the best, but because the sales person has the right attitude and that make us feel happy to buy from them.